Marina District, San Francisco, October 18th. Time, 5:04.

For those of us that were there, it was the longest few minutes of our lives. For just a few moments, our daily routines were disrupted by a non-scheduled event of the magnitude 6.9. The Quake of '89. The Sorta Big One. Since that moment, we've been fearing the really Big One, the quake that's supposed to turn San Francisco into a big parking lot, could be around the corner.

Now, an automaker thinks it can help alleviate our fears.

Bigger is Better, Safer.

"What Bay Area motorists need is steel, lots and lots of steel between them and the outside world." Said Stan Yeoman, a GM executive who recently visited the Bay Area. "Steel to protect auto occupants from falling debris. Steel to protect occupants from looters in those tense hours after the quake. Add to this the versatility of 4-wheel drive, and you have a moving fortress on wheels, ready for any quake Mother Nature can throw at this beautiful city."

A Sport Utility Vehicle would escape
this nightmare with nary a scratch.

The news from GM was well-received by most residents, who swarmed to local auto dealers in record numbers. "I'm buying a new Yukon because I care about my family." said Pat Yoong, cradling her 5 year old daughter Stephanie's head. "I want them to be ok in the case of an earthquake. The Yukon can survive a 3 ton slab of concrete falling on top of it. What other reasons do I need?"

Will Other Automakers Follow?

Lexus, Mercedes and BMW so far have made no plans to expand into what they consider a "low-class backwoods Midwest market." Sniffed one BMW exec: "We'd never dilute our world-class name with a flavor-of-the-month passing auto fad more suited for deerhunters and backwood yahoos than our high caliber professional clientele."

Stan Yeoman, however, stressed safety over class.

"Mark my words, there will be a 7.0 or greater earthquake in California before the end of the decade. The only way we can lower the risk of injury or death is to be prepared. And what better way to be prepared than in a new GMC Yukon?