Bay Area gamers rejoiced as Fry's and Good Guys across the Bay Area released special "Bay Area Only" editions of the Playstation 2. Retail outlets of Fry's stayed open well past midnight to cater to the power hungry crowd.
"The Bay Area is a special place, 'cause we're so rich and smart and cool. We deserve to have the best of everything, including video game systems." said Jen Magon, San Jose video game enthusiast. "While the rest of the country is dragging along, putzing about on old, inferior Playstations, we here in the Bay are well into the 21st century. I pity those poor people still gaming on 32 bit systems!"

This thrilling kind of fun can only be found in the Bay Area!

Jen, who up until just 4 months ago was totally happy with her 32 bit Playstation, joined thousands of other gamers who stood in line well into the night to get their new 64 bit DVD-based systems. "We had everyone sign a waiver, agreeing not to transport the game systems across state lines into other parts of the country." Said Sammo Hays, a local Fry's manager. "This includes Southern California as well. I don't think they'll be a problem with this technology falling into the wrong hands, however. Why would anyone leave the Bay Area? It's inconceivable."

Game reviewers on hand last night called the Playstation 2 "Totally, absolutely mindblowing, with dazzling graphics and stunningly fast gameplay." One reviewer warned, however, that only cool, trendy, Bay Area technogeeks could possibly handle the system without having a total brain meltdown. "Your average 14 year olds in Ohio would stare hypnotically into the screen for hours, unable to control their bowels as they gazed as transfixed as a deer in headlights. No, we here in the Bay Area have a responsibility to make sure this technology stays in the Bay Area only."

Thanks to these restrictions, when Bay Area geeks kick back and play the best video game system in the world, they can truly say:
"Only in Silicon Valley!"