SGI Investors Cautious About Cray for Magic Beans Trade.
"Magical Properties" of Beans in Question.
Even the most patient of SGI's investors are scratching their heads over news that SGI may be trading off it's Cray Division. Cray, purchased by SGI for 767 million in 1996, is reportedly being traded for a handful of beans who's properties have been described as "magical."
"Investors, rest assured: These beans have magical power beyond mere mortal comprehension" boomed Robert Bishop, SGI's current CEO. "Purchasing Cray was a 767 million dollar mistake, but, like all of our previous mistakes, it will be a one time, extraordinary item on our balance sheet next quarter. It won't happen again. In return for getting rid of our financially disasterous mistake, I have secured SGI one handful of very special, very magical beans. Beans that will really help SGI's revenues grow like a weed, and that's not just "beanstalk." Robert finished, making little quotation signs with his fingers.
Some figure trading cray for magic
beans will make about as much sense
as buying Cray in the first place.
Some observers, however, weren't quite as optimistic.
"Jimminy Christmas, what now?" asked industry analyst Ted McNatch, clutching his stomach and looking pale. "Can this company develop a plan and stick with it? They paid 700 gajillion dollars for this Cray supermajiggy, did almost nothing with it, and now are going to trade it off for practically nothing. Meanwhile, I'm avoiding friends and family who were foolish enough to listen to me when I said 'Buy SGI! It's a steal at $30!' left and right. Even the ones I told 'You can't miss getting as much SGI as you can at 10!' are starting to give me the evil eye.
Bishop is convinced, however, that SGI will benifit greatly by the addition of magical beans on the SGI campus. "SGI was founded on a principal. What principal that was, I'm not sure, but I know one thing: magic beans often grow into beanstalks, and at the top of those beanstalks, you'll find gold." While Bishop himself smirked at the imagary of himself climbing any beanstalks, he did add: "I am ready, if needed, to face down any giants." Bishop said, giving an eyebrow raise and a smirk, possibly indicating Microsoft.
Bishop admitted talks with Old Man Grenkle, the magic bean-bearing merchant he met in Fickletown Valley's markets haven't been concluded just yet. "He's somewhat hesitant about the trade, but I think if I throw in the MIPS department too, he may cave in."
Grenkle: Like SGI, is uncertain
what he'd do with CRAY.