The Los Gatos Venture Capital Project
   (screenplay by David Orth)
        kiyote@yiffy.com

In 1999, 3 Berkley college students went to Los Gatos, CA to seek out
venture capital for their third company, a small film studio they were
hoping to finance. They had heard tales of a wealthy venture capitalist
that was almost impossible to coax money from, living in the wilds of Los 
Gatos.

They set out to find him, hoping to talk to him that day. They were never
heard from again. The following a collection of footage found that the
students had taken while trying to get to the venture capitalist's
residence.

(opening scene)

A some what shaky camera zooms in on a thin, attractive girl putting on a
pair of Birkenstocks while leaning against a BMV convertible.

Girl: "Like, hi, and things? My name is Heather, and we're just about to
go and try and find Mike Chang's house, somewhere in Los Gatos. (spins for
the camera)

Cameraman: "Heh.. very cool, Heather." (turns camera on self, revealing an
attractive, goatee'd young man) "My name is Josh, and I'm taking a few
days off from UGogo.com, my company, to help Heather get us some money for
a third company we want to start, which is a small production studio. So 
far we have 11 employees, and $1,450,000, but we need at least another 3
million before we can even start."

Heather: "Oooh, wait." (dials small cel phone) "Osltein Services? This is
Heather, from 144 A Lioncrest Lane? Can you tell Ricardo that when he
comes in to clean this week, to let my dog out for a walk? Oooh, I know..
there's a $100 bill for him on the TV for the hassle. Ooh, thank you!"

Josh: "Things are cool?"

Heather: "Sure, I just worry about Dmitri... he needs his walkies, and I
won't be around today to take him to the beach."

Camera cuts out, and fades back in to another young man, named Mike,
holding what looks like a $50,000 professional studio camera. 

Josh: "Hey Mike.. did you only get one camera?"

Mike: "Sorry, dude.. some folks from SGI wanted to use 'em, and I was
barely able to sign this one out.. here, though, I got you a steadycam
arm."

Josh: "Cool! (puts it on camera, and shaking ends) "Whoa, dude, I gotta
buy one of these."

Mike: "Hehe.. consider it a gift, you know? Winkwink, nudge nudge, and all
of that."

Josh: "You're too, too cool.. if you ever want a palm pilot, or any
software games, just hollar."

Mike: "Remember you said that." 

Heather: "Ok, guys? Like, we're totally going to have to do an equipment
check" (camera pans around) "Bay Area Backroads book, check. Laptop with
Bay Area Backroads DVD and modem, check."

Mike: "You're not taking your new Dell CPI-R?"

Heather: "As if! I just got it last week. Besides, this Toshiba's fine..
it's 266 MHZ. I just don't want to get sticks or bugs in my new Dell. At
least not until Craig can get me that Sony Viao."

Josh: "Ok. ok... cel phones.. I have one, PCS and a 2-way pager."

Mike: "I forgot my PCS.. all I have is this Nokia cel phone.. limited
range. I also have a 2-way pager, and a GPS.

Heather: "One PCS, one Cel phone, and a beeper. Plus, here..(pulls into
bag) I want us ALL to have these shortwave headsets. It'll be fine for
talking to eachother short-range."

Josh: "I can't go without checking my e-mail"

Mike: "Duh.. set it to send a copy to your pager.. sheesh." 

Josh: "It's too important.. I gotta reply from UGogo.com... we might do a
third public offering."

(All agree that it would be a good idea to check e-mail, and log into
Heather's trusty old Toshiba)

Camera cuts back in to Heather taking a tag from a parking valet attendant
in a small lot in Los Gatos. 

Heather: "My PCS switched to analog... (boggles) We're so in the middle of
f$sking nowhere."

Josh: (eyeing the BMW) "I just hope the car is safe out here." 

Heather pulls out some Yahoo maps, and checks them. 

Heather: "His place is like... 11 miles that way." (Points into woods) 

Mike: "No way.. no f$sking way. I'm not going into that."

Heather: "Human beings walk at 4 miles an hour. It'll be 3 hours there at
the most. It'll be fun!"

Mike: (grumbles)

Heather: "What, you can go skiing 2 times a month in Tahoe, but you can't
walk 3 f$sking hours to a guy that might give us 3 million dollars? Think 
of it as an adventure."

Mike: "An adventure, in my brand new f$sking Birkenstocks."

Josh: "Hey, we all have Birkenstocks on, Mike, c'mon."

Heather: "Crimminy, Mike, I'll buy you 10 pairs of sandals when we get
back.. let's just go."

(Steadycam leads them into a well cut out trail into the woods, where they
pass several CEO's out on a powerwalk.)

Heather: "Hi! I'm Heather, CFO of Compatax, Inc. We're out here looking
for a house that belongs to Mike Chang."

CEOs: ...

Josh: "He's a local, wealthy, young, gay, Asian venture capitalist that
lives in this area."

CEOs: (smirking sarcastically) "Oooh, you mean the guy that drives the
BMW! Ya, he lives here. Go to the sushi bar in town. He'll be there. (CEO
answers cel phone, and huffs off)

Josh: "Whoa, that was seriously uncool." 

Mike: "No it wasn't.. let's go back to the sushi bar."

Heather: "Mike, he was being an a$$hole." 

Mike: "I don't care.. I'm f$sking hungry. Let's go to the sushi bar!"

Heather: "Oooh, puh-lease? I brought Power Bars and Evian.. we'll be
fine."

(camera cuts out to the trio at a small clearing, arguing) 

Mike: "We can't do it that way.. f$sk! F$sk!" (stomps feet)

Heather: "Mike, this is so not helping.. I'm getting seriously negative
vibes from you." 

Mike: "You said when we left we had an appointment to meet Mr. Chang at
around noon.. so I get up and out of bed by 8:00 am sharp, only to find
that, "Oooh, well, $hit, what we meant was, we're going to f$sking walk
through the woods, to Mr. Chang's house, and surprise the $hit out of him 
while he's swimming naked with his boyfreind or something, and ask for 3 
million dollars."

Josh: "We're fine, Mike.. we have the 5-year business plan already made
out.. he's a Valley-Type, come on, dude.. he's made and broke people
laying naked on the beach with his laptop. He won't think this is weird.

(helicopter zooms over) 

Heather: "Look, I have my PCS.. do you want to call him?" (hands phone to
Mike. 

Mike: (mutter)

Heather: "What's wrong Mike? Call him, ask him.. he's got a 1-800 number.
No charge to me."

Mike: "I don't want to."

Heather: "Why not?"

Mike: "How the f$sk do you ask a total stranger for 3 million dollars on
the phone?"

Heather: (looking triumphant, and, for a second, switching back to her
embarassingly obvious Tennessee accent) "Ya don't Mikey dear, ya don't."
(switches back to cool, cultured Northern CA accent) "I mean, you have to
meet them face to face." 

(The trio walk on, until they reach a remote 6 bedroom, 4 story cabin
nestled in the woods) 

Heather: "This is it!" 

Josh: "Guys, let me go up there alone.. I've had the most experience,
having already completed a couple of rounds of financing with my other
company." 

Mike; "No problem with me.. just don't come back without the 3 million
dollars." 

Heather: (giggling) "Good luck, Josh." 

(Josh disappears inside the house. 40 minutes pass with no word from him)

Heather: "This is taking too long.. he should of been out by now, or at
least called us." 

Mike: "I don't like this either, but we can't call him or something.. I
don't know if he wants Mr. Chang knowing we're here." 

(Suddenly, a cel phone rings! Both Mike and Heather fumble around) 

Mike: "F$sk! Which one is it?"

Heather: "It's not mine.. it's you! It's you?"

Mike: "Where? I can't find it!!" (answers one phone, and throws it away in
anger) 

"Heather: "It's in your pack!" 

(Mike fumbles for his pack, and pulls a Nokia PCS out.) "Hello? Hello?"

Staticy Analog Voice: "Money.. *fzzzzt!* got it.. *BRRZZZT* but...
*fuzzzzz* need to go... *ffffff* No...  come here.. *ffffff* COME
HERE!!!*brrzzt* 

(phone disconnects)   
  
Mike: "HE"S GOT THE MONEY!!!" 

Heather: "No F$sking way! Yes Yes!!!"

(Both bolt up, and run to the cabin) 

In unison: "Josh! Josh, we're coming! Where are you?"

(both run inside the cabin searching, cameras filming as they run from 
room to room.)

Voice Upstairs: "Venture Capital, Venture Capital" 

(Both run upstairs to find the out who's up there, and how much venture
capital they're talking about. Upstairs has a jacuzzi, a huge skylight
window and marble floors, but not much else.)

Voice Downstairs: "Heather! Mike! Heather!!!"  

Mike: "Josh! We're coming! Don't sign anything yet!" 

(Mike runs as fast as he can downstairs without Heather) 

Heather: "Mike, wait!" 

(Mike runs down into the extended basement/war room, his camera revealing
a well dressed Asian man patting Josh's head, who looks to be in shock.
Josh is white with fear, and can only point to a power point presentation
being projected into a corner screen) Mike's camera points at his knees
briefly then drops to the floor, showing a screen filled with Yahoo Maps)

Heather: "Mike! Wait! Josh! Josh!" 

(Heather runs down to the same room, screen filling with the same Asian
man, patting a terrified looking Josh.)

Mike Chang: "We've signed. You're getting your 3 million and moving into
the corporate headquarters."

Heather: "Yes! Oh yes!" 

Josh: *moaning*

Mike Chang: "I expect you to move next week, so please, be ready!" 

Heather: "What side of the Bay is the office on?"

Mike: (pointing at Power Point Presentation) "The Far East Side."

(Camera whips around to show the final few frames of film. Mike is
standing in the corner, staring motionlessly into the projection, which
shows a big red star right in the middle of...)

   Topeka, Kansas

Camera drops to expensive marble floor and goes out.